Sunday, August 12, 2007

Parents --- Mine or Yours

"When a wife takes care of her in-laws isn't it the responsibility of the husband to take care of his"....

A friend of mine asked my opinion to this question. This was posed to him by his girlfriend who happens to be a single child. They had a conversation the day before on this question which turned out to be so acrimonious that they kept aloof for a couple of days.
The point emphasized by his girlfriend was "when I'll have to take care of your parents after our marriage then isn't it your duty and responsibility to care for my parents. I being the only child, have the responsibility towards them. You should also take care of them as I do it for your parents".

Indian society which bolsters the notion of equality among men and women, seems to abate when it comes to the implementation of this very thought. It has been the long tradition in the Indian society that the girl after marriage is bound by some invisible chain of responsibilities towards her in-laws. Leaving behind her parents , she steps into this new world filled with new faces. In this patriarchal society , it has become obvious that girls will look after her in-laws with very little responsibility towards her own parents. The girls' parents find it shameful to ask for help from their son-in-laws.
Parents who have only girl child find it difficult during their old ages. Pension and savings can't give the mental assurance which is needed at this time of life. Often at this age they want someone by their side to support them and take care of them. The apprehension of being abandoned and helpless at the time of emergency engulfs them.

So isn't it the responsibility of the girls to take of their parents at this stage of life??. Shouldn't the husband and wife look after and take care of both the families??. When the girls do it for her in-laws why shouldn't the boy do it in return??. I greatly support my friend's girlfriend in this matter. It's not a matter of forcing the husband to do these. Our society should inculcate this thought into the young minds. Both sides should be treated equally.The older people need care and support may it be of the husbands' side or the wifes' side.

I strongly support the thought that , in cases where the parents have only girl child , the girl should be allowed to keep her parents in her home and take the best care possible for her parents with the support and encouragement of her husband.


  1. a good post definitely.....n the thing makes it better is that u have started writing abt controversial issues of the society !!
    regarding ur views abt the particular topic...i should like 2 mention one point...the gal parents should b ready 2 take help n support 4m their son-in-laws too...n shouldn't let pride or any stigma come into their way !!! n i too think it is the duty of the husband to take care of his wife's parents !!!

  2. wow, dats really gud!!
    u've really improved!!

  3. thanx both of u...mohona u r right...but i've seen elderly people craving for support from their children. If the son-in-law comes forward then the hesitation to take help will vanish as far as i think...