Friday, December 31, 2010

Tees Maar Khan - Movie Review

One of my disgusting mistakes of year 2010 was to watch "Tees Maar Khan". Probably not only mine. May be this is what Akshay Kumar thinks too, for he has said that he won't do a sequel of TMK. Perhaps the much talked about item song "Sheila ki jawani" was just not enough to pull the movie off.

The Akshay Kumar - Katrina Kaif pair couldn't do the trick due to poor story, poorer comedy and poorest acting/direction. The story is about a thief who can open any lock in this world, one who can't be caught.

The movie starts with typical hindi melodramatic "Ma" type pregnant woman enjoying old hindi movie where thieves and robbers are being chased by  the half pant clad policemen. The baby in her womb inculcates all the trickery before its born. The baby emerges to be a boy named Tabrez  aka Tees Maar Khan (Akshay Kumar) and as expected becomes the biggest thief ever. He manages to fool two idiotic intelligence agents (Mukherjee and Chatterjee who later turn to be gay. Why was this required?) and escape. The movie proceed and so does the introduction of dumb, irritating and stupid characters. From Akshaye Khanna, the maniac Oscar craving actor, to the three assistants of Tees Maar Khan. Every now and then the assistants declare in chorus "Khano mein khan , tees maar khan". Katrina Kaif has been nothing more than a prop. Like a fly on a stinking dung cake. Except for two dialogues "Main aur makeup lagake aati hoon" and "Dirty dog" she's hardly audible. Askshaye Khanna plays the role of Oscar hungry actor. He vows for anything and everything that promises him an Oscar. Raghu and his twin brother from MTV Roadies (yes the bald guys who take sadist pleasure in  psyching out poor contestants) play a two in one combo pack funniest villain.

Tees Maar Khan is called in to steal 10, 000 kilograms of antiques for the twins, confiscated by the police. He pretends to be a director from Hollywood and convinces superstar Aatish Kapoor, played by Akshaye Khanna, to work with him promising him an Oscar. The crew starts shooting for a fictitious film in a village. Tees Maar Khan tricks the innocent villagers to steal the antiques from the police.

The movie lacks every aspect that is required to pull crowd apart from the item song. It neither has a story, nor sensible comedy. Mindless comedy exemplified. Budding and existing directors should see this movie to understand how not to make a movie. Farah Khan should do what she can do best, choreography. Pathetic direction and presentation made the movie difficult to bear. Every character seemed to be fed with a potion which makes them deliver nonsensical performance.

If you are excited about "Sheila ki jawani", I would suggest better watch the song on Youtube than watching the movie. And by the way, those who follow Facebook and have come to know that the name of Katrina in the movie is Sheila Kejwani, you are mistaken. Her name is Anya Khan.

TMK is not worth watching even with a free ticket. This movie is really torturous and no one with sane senses would find this movie worth watching.

I would rate it as 1/5 merely because of the entertaining "Sheila ki jawani" item song.

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